The Better Mindset with Joseph Ari’el Towne
For more than three decades, Joseph Ari’el Towne has occupied a fascinating space where performance, psychology, and human potential intersect. A high-performance coach to Olympic athletes, NFL players, Hollywood creatives, and Fortune 500 executives, Joseph has built a career helping people navigate the fears, pressures, and invisible barriers that can stand between where they are and where they want to be. Now, he is bringing the stories and lessons gathered along that journey to the page with The Better Mindset, a deeply personal exploration of why becoming “better” matters more than chasing the elusive ideal of being “best.” The book releases globally on September 29, with season two of Joseph’s popular podcast of the same name premiering this fall. In this exclusive interview, Joseph shares the experiences, ideas, and human stories behind his philosophy – and offers a glimpse into the person who has spent much of his life helping others move forward, one percent at a time.
Miami Living (ML): Joseph, after so many years of working with people through their own challenges and transformations, what made this the right moment to bring those stories and lessons together in The Better Mindset?
Joseph: What I keep seeing with clients are that people are falling into the same traps over and over, and it’s keeping them stuck. The pathway to a Better Mindset is trainable and implementable. The practices and principles allow us to get Better at the things that matter the most.
I knew that I couldn’t have the conversation individually with everyone who needed it because there simply isn’t enough space on the calendar for that. I knew that it would be easier if it was contained in one place. I kept being asked where the book was, but felt I just didn’t have the time to pause everything else to write it. That was the client side of it. On a personal level, the timing mattered just as much.
Some backstory is that about five years ago, my work was expanding, but in my private life things were falling apart. I was living two lives, and I felt lost, in the dark, without a map. I knew a direction, and that direction was better. And in the dark, sometimes a direction is enough.
Last year, when I lost my father and uncle in the same five-week span, I felt this renewed urgency to step into a greater role in my son’s life and in the lives of my clients. So I committed to carving out time from coaching and from parenting this year. And I wrote the book so I could help get it in the hands of people that need it the most.
It's the same trainable tools I use with my highest-performing clients – actors, athletes, executives – distilled into something anyone can start using tonight, no stage or spotlight required.
ML: You describe the “one percent” principle as getting a little better, again and again, rather than trying to reach a final destination. Where have you seen a seemingly tiny change create a surprisingly big shift in someone’s life?
Joseph: I have noticed the impact of interrupting worry, anxiety, and complaining through the act of practicing being more grateful.
The ‘Three Good Things’ practice came out of UPenn under Dr. Martin Seligman, who is often considered the father of positive psychology. You cannot actively focus on gratitude and worry at the exact same time. In just seven days, his study showed huge improvements that last for months or longer.
In fact, Harvard researcher Shawn Achor proved that just 30 days of this tiny cognitive shift can permanently reprogram a lifelong pessimist into an optimist. Specifically, not just scanning for three good things, but making sure they are new and specific every day. After a few weeks of this habit, the effects can be felt for six months – and the brain changes can become permanent if the habit is maintained.
We need to be optimistic to be gritty. And to be resilient enough to get better at things over time.
ML: You talk about the “giving state” versus the “getting state.” Can you remember a moment when shifting from one to the other changed the way you approached a situation?
Joseph: Absolutely. I used to go into a lot of rooms: auditioning and interviewing. In each and every one of them, I had my metaphorical hand out and wanted them to pick me and give me a job. I heard from my good friend Yogi Roth that his former boss and mentor, Pete Carroll, once challenged him to just focus on adding value. He took that on as a personal challenge. Whether it was making a chai tea or stapling the plays for the week for all of the other coaches.
Yogi later relayed that to me as seeking to not be transactional in his relationships, but instead to be transformational. That distinction stayed with me: transactional versus transformational.
I interpret this as a focus on being about people, and that relationships are an important part of our core values. It’s not that I was like that in my friendships, but I had a different unconscious program when I was in those rooms. I didn’t make the connection cleanly enough until he said it.
So I started to go into the rooms with clarity about who I was and what I was bringing instead of what I could get. It changed everything in business. And of course the principle holds true for everything else in life. I care about the person sitting in front of me; I want to find ways to add more value. And then the results start taking care of themselves.
ML: You’ve worked with people who seem to have everything figured out from the outside. What has tended to surprise you about what they’re actually struggling with?
Joseph: Of course. From the outside, everything is a highlight reel, and this isn’t just with celebrities or successful athletes and coaches.
Everywhere on my social feeds, people are showing the greatest hits from their lives. And in private, everyone is carrying a burden. Everyone is working on something. And we are just, as Ram Dass puts it: "walking each other home".
It can be incredibly challenging for people to maintain the image they have created. It might be the very thing we are celebrating them for. And for them, it is an identity that needs to be defended.
This moves us from a challenge state, which is empowering, into a threat state where we have something to lose. When we start playing with the fear of losing our identity, our sense of belonging, our very livelihood – it can be incredibly scary.
We need a framework and tools that root us into what matters most so we don’t get lost in all of the noise.
ML: You’ve performed both onstage and in front of the camera. Do you remember a particular moment when you learned to turn nerves into something that actually helped you perform, and how did that experience eventually shape the way you coach others?
Joseph: Absolutely. For me personally, I would say starting to do media interviews. Because with a play, I’d have several weeks to prepare. For a film and TV job, it could be a few days to a few weeks. I knew the map.
But for interviews, so much of it is unknown. So I tended to feel underprepared. And in feeling underprepared, I started to tell myself I hadn’t done enough, which activated a fear that I wasn’t enough. I couldn’t do anything extraordinary while simultaneously running a tape that I wasn’t enough to meet the moment.
It was learning that nerves aren’t the enemy – they are like fuel for our vehicle. If it was an actual car and we wanted to go on a road trip, we wouldn’t be mad at that. We’d be excited. Everything we need is inside of it. And similarly, everything we need to begin is inside of us, too.
And then I heard this phrase from a sports psychologist who works with athletes. He invited them to say to themselves, the moment they felt their nerves kick in: “Oh cool, my body is switched on now.”
I then remembered something that my old voice and breath teacher used to say, "the only difference between fear and excitement is whether you’re holding your breath".
Between those two things was the key to embracing nerves and having a protocol that sets me up to allow my better self to be present in those rooms.
ML: Your work also explores how our surroundings affect our state of mind, drawing on your background in Feng Shui and spatial synergy. Have you ever changed something small in a room and been surprised by how much it changed the way you or someone else felt or behaved?
Joseph: Oh yes. That’s one of the secrets in feng shui: a little bit goes a long way. Sometimes hanging a piece of art on the wall becomes my focus. It inspires me and is the place my attention goes. Sometimes clearing out a drawer and some clutter makes the workspace feel completely different or helps someone sleep better. It can be as simple as vacuuming. Or wiping down all of the surfaces. Or lighting a candle.
Feng Shui, and more specifically Spatial Synergy, showed me the power of being intentional about small things. Mindset has taught me that the way we do small things is the way we do all things. Being intentional is the most powerful game changer, and it can start with a breath before speaking or a moment before a meal.
ML: In the foreword to The Better Mindset, NBC Sports’ analyst Yogi Roth writes that book “made me a better human being” and that its truths resonate whether you’ve “shined on a stage or been booed off it.” How did you learn to translate what you’ve witnessed in your work with people into truths that feel so personal and universal at the same time?
Joseph: To me, our humanity is the part where we connect with one another. We recognize the struggles that each other goes through, and through that recognition we feel less alone and have more belonging. In this way, vulnerability is a superpower.
I started out doing this work with actors, and I knew it worked for me, and for my students. But then Yogi actually took a Mindset class years ago, and he felt this work was directly applicable to athletes. Which, it turns out, it is.
And then over the last eight years I’ve been able to share this work with executives in charge of teams, teachers supporting students, and coaches making teams better.
It doesn’t matter if I am working with performers at the highest levels of their craft or someone who doesn’t consider themselves a performer who wants to get better. I started to realize we cannot only practice on ‘game day.’ To practice once a week or several times a month will simply take a much longer time. Much longer than most of us have to get the results we are seeking.
So I started to take my daily practice habits and offered it as a program called the "Everyday Mindset". It was inspired by my daily practice routines. Whether that is morning or evening. Or something woven in between. Our daily practice habits are the great unlock for our work to shine. This allowed us to find ways to practice things daily because this is how we train: "how we do small is how we do all". This is the piece that showed me, unequivocally, that this work is open source technology. It works no matter what you are seeking to get Better at. And so in these last few years I used it to up level every aspect of life. And I know firsthand what’s possible.
ML: After a lifetime of helping other people become better, what is one thing you’re still learning about yourself?
Joseph: I’ll give you an example. Right now, with the launch of this book, and bringing the podcast back, and traveling all the while seeking to grow the company, coach at a high level, and show up for the people I love, I noticed there were so many days my habits wanted me to say that I was overwhelmed.
Likely that is because, in the past, I was.
I paused. And then asked myself, "am I actually overwhelmed?" Because it doesn’t feel like it. What I discovered was, I’m not. My nervous system isn’t dysregulated. I just have a lot to do.
So catching the stories we tell ourselves isn’t a nice idea. It isn’t for other people. It starts with me. And I know the story I am running is impacted by the state I am in. And the state I am in is affected by the things I put on my calendar, the people I surround myself with, and my living and working environments.
So instead, my focus is moving away from managing my time and instead on managing my energy. To be intentional with each day. And to work my way through these lists with clarity of purpose and a sense of play. Some days I do better than others. And I am continuing to seek better at what matters most to me.
I’m definitely not perfect. I am, however, committed to excellence.
Pre-sale link to The Better Mindset can be found here: https://istoria.com/the-better-mindset-book/.
To keep up with Joseph, follow him on IG @josepharieltowne and @alwaysbetter.co and listen to The Better Mindset podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.