Surrendering Guilt: Why Mothers Need Time to Themselves As Well
- May 7
- 4 min read
Does it happen to you that if you sit down to relax, your brain immediately goes:
Is it my turn to do the dishes?
Were my kids around long enough today?
Am I a bad mom now?
So, this blog is dedicated to all those moms who become guilty as soon as she puts herself first. To all the women who no longer know what she even likes anymore. To all mothers who give 100% to others and nothing to themselves.
It's time to talk about it. Really talk about it.
Why Moms Need "Me Time" — And This Is Not Up for Debate
This is why moms should have it in particular, and they badly need it:
You cannot fill an Empty Cup
We are left with nothing to offer when we are tired, exhausted, and only have caffeine and the power of will to go. We shout at the children. We tune out whilst speaking. We move through the process without being there.
The cup is replenished with me time. It reinvigorates the nervous system. It prepares us to be good at all things, including being a mom.
Your Personality Is Greater Than Mom
There was a person there before the kids. One who had interests, aspirations, likes, and a character that had nothing to do with the needs of another person.
That person didn't disappear. She has just been buried. You can lose yourself without time to think about yourself when you are not in your role.
Stress Does Not Go Away in Time
This is not a drama. This is medical. Moms suffer when they do not rest, when they are always on the go:
Greater anxiety and irritability.
Difficulty in sleeping despite being tired.
Weakened immune system.
Increase in burnout and depression risks.
Loneliness to people whom they love.
Personal time and rest are not a nice-to-have. They are medical needs.
Your Children are Staring at You
Children observe our treatment of ourselves to learn how to treat themselves.
When they are raised observing their mom always sacrificing, never resting, never doing anything for herself, then that is their model. Daughters are taught to be over-givers. The sons are taught to anticipate it.
All Right, So What Do You Do With Me Time?
This is where many moms are stumped. After having given all your life to thinking of others first, you truly lose track of what you like. Me time sounds so good in theory, and then you are sitting there and wondering... now what?
These are some actual, feasible ideas. No elaborate budget needed. No leisure time required.
Do What Feels Good with Your Body
Not punishment. I have to lose weight. Right action that is pleasant to you.
A 30-minute walk while listening to your favourite music.
Dance lesson of your dreams.
Yoga in the morning because I was awake very early in the morning.
Anything that brings us to life — swimming, cycling, hiking.
Get Back to What You Loved
Think back. Before kids. What was your favorite thing?
Reading? Pick up a book. A real one. No parenting book.
Preparing food with no apparent reason, out of the imaginative קוקש.
Drawing, writing, gardening, and crafting.
A dusty instrument just sitting around, wondering
Do not worry about how productive it might be. It need not go anywhere. It only needs to be like you.
Something Beautiful to See
More moms are looking to jewelry as a personal milestone — a marker of a chapter, a challenging year, a version of themselves — that they were glad to survive.
One very trendy engagement ring at the moment is a lab-grown diamond ring. It sparkles, it glitters, it dances into the hearts of people, and it shines as bright as any diamond. The only difference? OK, but still, it's a lab-grown diamond, which means it is way more environmentally friendly and also relatively inexpensive.
Another ring worth knowing about is a moissanite ring. Moissanite is one of the brightest stones on the market - people claim that it shines even more than diamonds do. It is extremely strong, less expensive, and, frankly, it is beautiful.
Surround Yourself with Full-of-Life People
Not all social interactions are invigorating. Some individuals suck us out.
Find those not. The friends who laugh till your stomach aches. The talks that make you feel rather light, not heavy. An hour with the right person is worth more than a week of enforced self-care routines.
Do Nothing at all - And Be Satisfied
The radicalest thing that a mom could sometimes do is to sit and do nothing.
No phone. No tasks. No half-hearing of something in the background. Just stillness.
It is not comfortable initially. That's normal. Nevertheless, the stillness is where much of the stress literally gets out of the body.
A Last Word to the Mom Reading This
So much you are doing. More than you are likely to credit to yourself.
And doing too much is not necessarily that you have to feel nothing about yourself. It does not imply that it is necessary to place your happiness, your sleep, and your personality on hold forever.
You need your time, your time alone. You have the right to laugh without having to consider your next step. You have the right to wear something beautiful because. You have a right to all guilt-free rest.
Not someday. When nothing is put to rest. Not when the children are older.